this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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