it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
