singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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