I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
