my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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