She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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