yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
