Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
