singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
