Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i think i just lost a toe
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
