8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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