I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
