Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
