): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
