Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
