I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I forget how to act sober
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
