We're facebook friends in real life
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
