You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
