You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
