i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
