you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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