Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
