Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just found puke in my bra..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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