oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
