I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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