I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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