stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
