So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
