I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
