beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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