I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize