the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
