my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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