her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
