I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
