I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
