i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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