You really coming over, don't trick.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
