I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
