left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
