this beer tastes like vomit already
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
