oh god the rape fog is back!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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