STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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