About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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