the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
