OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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