I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
