Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
accomplished twins. life is a go
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
