you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
