Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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