I am in a vortex of obligation.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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