Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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