and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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