It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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