I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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