I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
