Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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