So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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