She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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