I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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