if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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