Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
