dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
