it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
